Who doesn’t love Emily Maynard? She is gorgeous, has a great personality and sparkling Southern charm.
There’s just this one little thing, she gives out roses to guys when she wants to keep them on the Bachelorette.
Come on boys, if you got to stay on the show and date Emily Maynard, wouldn’t you want something instead of a wilting flower to remember it by?
It’s clear that roses are old news. I mean, roses have thorns, and they fade. Why can’t we try something more original ABC, like a pony or something?
“Jef with one f, will you accept this pony?”
He’d be like, “hell, yes.”
Plus, Chris Harrison thinks we’re all idiots and need to be reminded that this is the final rose, EVERY SINGLE TIME. Let’s change it up Chris, don’t you want to remind America of something different every time? “Gentlemen, Emily, this is the final personalized flask of the evening.”
Not only should the Bachelors want something different every week, they DESERVE IT. I mean, they’re subjected to everything from wearing Scottish kilts to doing stand-up in front of a crowd of strangers. I’m sure they can only take traveling around the world and swimming in pools and drinking for so long.
Aside from a broken heart, shouldn’t these gentlemen get some sort of tangible gift to take with them when they leave for all the suffering they endured on the show?
I’ve created a list of gifts I think know the bachelors would prefer to a rose. These are also great ideas for gifts you could gets the guys in your wedding party. Take it from Emily, these personalized gifts are awesome.
Imagine Emily giving these great gifts instead of roses:
- “Sweaty Sean, will you accept this personalized NFL mug? I think it will go nicely with the frat-boy décor in your messy room.”
2. “Arie, will you accept this Embroidered Wide-Mouth Ice Cooler Bag to keep in your really hot Indy car?”
3. “Chris, I know this will look almost as good as that kilt did on you, will you accept this Joe Sixpack Personalized Beer Belt?”
4.“Daddy Doug, I know you have a kid because you tell me like every two minutes, so will you accept this personalized Kids Height Chart? I know you’ll both love it SO MUCH!”
5. “Oh hey Kalon, will you accept this personalized midnight pocket watch? I’ve taken the time to personalize it for you it says “Huge Douchebag.”
6. “Ryan will you accept this personalized NFL locker room print with matted frame? I know you’ll probably want to replace this print with a picture of yourself, you know, because you’re a competitor and all.”
7. “Travis will you accept this koozie with a personalized pewter medallion? You can keep a beer in it, or you know, an egg…whatever.
8. “Tony, I know you’ll love this one, will you accept this personalized leather money clip/credit card holder? You look like the kind of guy who would carry one of these.”
9. “Stevie will you accept this personalized Time to Party Irish Pub Sign…since you’re Irish and look like you love to party? Also, have you ever thought of going by the name Steven?”
10. “Chris Harrison, I know you’re not a contestant, but will you accept these personalized champagne flutes? The plain ones you’re always using are getting a little tired. You’ll notice that they have a date on them, that’s for our wedding. Is it true you’re getting a divorce because you know I’m single right?”
Not only will these gifts make each Bachelor feel like a giddy schoolgirl because they’re so awesome, but none of those jerks can steal it from them because it’s, wait for it….PERSONALIZED!
Most of these great, personalized gifts are available for purchase at: Groomsshop!